This is one of my problems too and I have made some progress in figuring some things out. My first T, who was horrible, but did clue me in to a few things helped alot in this area.

One of the books I read while I was working with him was "Non-Violent Communication" by Rosenburg. This book helped explain how emotions worked a bit and how to communicate them to others and recognize them in yourself.

I made my own flash cards from the emotion wheel he gave me. If I can find a link to one online I will post it here. It helped me understand how emotions are broken down and how they function as motivational energy for the body.

A person with a trauma history like myself, this get a little complicated. The body seems to store emotions that can't be expressed. My therapist is helping me with those, because sometimes I have outrageous reactions that make no logical sense, and it's just old stuff coming up to be dealt with.