Something came up that I didn't feel had had any impact on my life whatsoever in T yesteray...just came up out of the blue...I wsa telling T that I need to stop living in the past and talk about her and me now but said something was stopping me doing that...we started to explore what that something was and who she was and than bang it was there in my mind...I struggled for most of the session to put it into words...finally I did right near the end of session which wasn't good...I need to email T sorry this morning....not that she will say I need to apologise for the emails I sent her but I feel I need to do it for me...I planned that today I was going to go and get high...but this morning I have awoken like a weight has been lifted of my shoulders and I am back down on planet earth once again...I can't believe this thing had had such a grip on me and my unconsious....