3 yrs I've sat and controlled therapy. Told T this and told her that and yes some of it needed to be told. BUT now I see how I've not really allowed myself to be exposed in an non-contrived way.

Yesterday was the first time that explored what was going on for me in the moment and saw how my past effects my relationships today.

Its scary, but its freeing too.

Now I realise how little I know about my own actions and drives behind them so how the hell can I know about someone elses?

I've heard it said that people who do, don't teach, and people who teach don't do. I get that now.