BudFox posted this quote in another thread and it pierced me so precisely that I felt it warranted its own thread. I seriously felt like someone was looking straight into my brain when they wrote this (and Bud if you can tell us, I'd love to know)
Quote:
Originally Posted by BudFox
Agree. Along those lines, I find this instructive:
"Shame pathology is so intense, and generates such powerful negative feelings toward the self, that the shamed individual is unable to derive self-esteem from within. This means that most, if not all, access to self-esteem must be sought through contact with others. The result is that the person who is unable to feel good about himself will engage in relationships with others that seem to represent a cure for shame. Poor self-esteem is another term for shame feelings. The process of acquiring this kind of self-esteem from an intimate relationship occurs when the person meets someone that to him represents a fantasy of redemption. The abiding fantasy that one day someone will appear to release him from his shame."
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Depression, anxiety, doubt. These are all just symptoms. Symptoms I have been able to effectively treat....in therapy, or with medicine, or on my own with self-care.
But the shame? Haven't figured out how to rid myself of shame. I've decreased myself of the emotional dependence on others....and THOUGHT I rid myself of shame. But under extreme duress, I still can find it there.
I'm not complaining. I'm doing well right now. I just realize that this is just a facet of me that I don't "get rid of". I just carry it.