i think one of the hard parts is over, getting the subject started you know?
it seems to me that things happen in phases... but its an accomplishment, you should be proud of yourself for initiating it
you are now in the position to make more steps forward, but try to let things happen...
go with the flow... try not to beat yourself up...
its a roller coaster ride for sure..
i know that lonely feeling, im not sure what to do about it.. try to keep journaling and talk about things that come up in therapy, it can improve...