My appointment went ok. Dr was concerned about my depression and decided to switch me to Paxil. I'm finishing out the bottle of Lexapro I have though. Part of me isn't ready to give up on another medication and makes me nervous trying out another. Always worry if one is going to have bad side effects and don't think putting my body through all these different medicines is good... Probably will switch and try it though, since that's what he recommended. Saw a psychiatrist today who prescribed risperidone to help me get better, restful sleep. He believes my anxious thoughts are keeping me from good sleep, which causes me to feel drained all the time and making things worse; a vicious cycle. Seeing him again in two weeks.

I'm also supposed to work on, what he calls, being "ugly" to people. That I've mastered being sweet, but if I don't have the skill to be "sophisticatedly ugly" as well, I won't be in balance. That I've created a philosophy to live by that I want to be nice to everyone and stuck to it so dilegently that when people treat me negatively, I take in the negativity and bottle it in and only put out positivity, but that it's been building up for too many years and has manifested in some way. So, I'm not sure if I'm buying this. But he is a psychiatrist and has been for many years... Thoughts on this?