I think there is a way to invite that to be how you want to be.

The desire to be relaxed is the beginning. Maybe for some it's enough. I think meditation and relaxation exercises help very much. Therapy too.

Often too, I find the things in life happen how they happen in spite of anything I do.

Our pespective is different when things happen in life and we're in a relaxed mode so it can even be a 'Which came first--the chicken or the egg" refection to think about when it happens.

Here's a guided imagery I have used often and I like. You can do it right at your computer. It says it takes 20 minutes which sounds like a long time, but it goes by so fast and is so relaxing it feels like 5 minutes! It's free and it's called Secret Garden and it's at www.meditainment.com. I hope you enjoy it if you decide to try it.

Also, I like to read Pema Chodron's insightful books. They are thought-provoking and her writing style is very relaxing to read. She's very down to earth, humorous. She's an American Buddhist nun and you can find her books here at this site: www.shambhala.com. Her books are also on Amazon.com.