Heidu,

You are more than welcome to come beat him up any time you like I went to work tonight for one hour and while I was there he called me and told me to come home, it had been an hour. Then when I get home, he tells me that I am feeling sorry for myself and should snap out of it. I was so mad.......esp. since I drove tonite for the first time in 2 weeks and my car is a 5 speed. It was terrible on my left leg since that is the one that sustained nerve damage, but I did it....and then he lays that on me. Course his nerves are shot because he "has so much to worry about since I'm not working I can't buy him cigs." I wish my priorities were that self-centered - that I could worry about just me and my wants. Unfortunately I am not made that way - my needs are usually way down at the bottom of the list.

If I am able to get on disability and take care of myself with working part-time I would be able to manage on my own and still be around for my son - to take him to school and pick him up. But yes, my time does feel like is running out - hence the calmness and the shutting down of any feeling.

Thanks for caring though

Mary Alice