My uni therapist used to write thorough responses to my emails as well. She said she wanted to do that because I'm "precious" to her. Then we went through a rough period, which started when I basically I tried to put on a brave face even though I knew I was spiralling into depression again, and as a result she thought it would be okay to push me a bit on my coursework. I didn't respond well to it, but didn't show her that in the session and was determined to just get through it without causing a fuss, but the next day (Saturday) I cracked and wrote her a mad rant, which led to an exchange of emails that eventually ended with me saying that I was going to quit because I obviously couldn't handle it anymore. I was really upset with myself, and felt terrible, so I sent a follow-up email saying it wasn't her fault, that she had tried but that I just couldn't be helped. That was Monday evening. Then on Tuesday afternoon she tried to call me, but I screened four calls because I was determined to quit. A little while later, just after I had spoken to an advisor at the student support centre, I received an email from her that made me sob on the sidewalk as I was waiting for the bus. She had written a really long reply about how worried she was and that she was sorry she hadn't picked up on how much I was struggling in the session. She was really hoping that I would continue to see her. It was such a sweet email, I could feel how much she cared when I was reading it.

Then the "I love you" incident happened, and I freaked out again. I tried to quit via email twice over the Christmas break because I was so depressed and really scared. I couldn't handle the fact that she'd said those words to me. Again, she responded with such warmth and compassion, and really loving words, that I couldn't follow through because of how much I love her. I felt absolutely awful about myself.

After all of that, however, she decided that she wasn't going to write much in response to my emails anymore, just a couple of sentences, and nothing really in-depth, because she was worried she'd cause a misunderstanding again. She seemed to think that my breakdown was a result of those emails, even though I repeatedly said that I was going to break down anyway, email exchange or not.

The whole thing that followed was a bit frustrating for me, because at first she said she didn't feel like she was expressing herself clearly in her emails (she claims not to be dyslexic but she really is; she writes emails like my dyslexic best friend, lol), THEN that changed to "I crossed a boundary and I never should have done that" which really upset me because that made it sound like the "I don't want to cause misunderstandings" thing was just a way to cover up the fact that she just couldn't be arsed to respond properly to my emails anymore. Finally, it emerged that when I leave after a session she always feels confident that I am going to return next week, but after an email exchange she feels less certain of that. It was hard for her to feel that way, and I guess I can accept that, even if it took some time to get used to the short replies. However, that also indicates that it was MY fault she didn't want to write long emails anymore, and that still upsets me a little. I actually loved those emails.

Anyway, what I am wondering is if you are aware of what happened to cause the boundary change in your case? Was it ever explained to you? If not, I get why you would feel that her current responses are dismissive, maybe even because it then seems like she's just taken something away from you and you're left to figure out why? Not sure if that's the case, but "hang in there" as a response to what you sent her would definitely feel dismissive to me if I were in your shoes, and it would be something I'd want to talk to her about in the next session. If you're still unsure of the reasons why the boundaries changed, I would probably start with that.

I'm sorry you feel like your therapist seems inconsistent and uncaring. I don't like the sound of her boundaries changing just out of nowhere with no explanation to go with it. I hope you can talk to her about it and figure things out. Like Waterbear, though, I think she does care, and wouldn't want you to feel otherwise, which is why you should tell her about how her response made you feel.