I really thought they would be able to tell me the right thing to say to get my family to like me and accept me, that somehow i was just saying things wrong, but that i was doing things right and would be able to convince the family of that. But that acceptance was always just out of reach, no matter what i did. I was aware in the back of my mind of what that meant, but couldnt face it. I finally faced it when my life hit bottom. And here i am.