Hi YUNOMI and all.......
I can relate to what your going thru because I've been there and am still there , for the most part. I haven't been around for a couple of months because of just that feeling. TIRED. Just stopped caring. I had an on-line "pen pal" that disappeared on me. So I just stopped coming to PC and stopped outside therapy and just went out to the store when I had too. I felt no desire to meet or talk to anyone anymore. I've been on my own , and abandoned by my family and everyone I thought cared about me.

Well what I am discovering going thru all this is ME. Who I am. For the first time in my life.
I'm starting to understand that however I may feel this moment, it will pass. And the most important thing is to not FOLLOW my thoughts of depression or anger or whatever. I've been led around all my life by someone or some thought in my head. I found out that if I just accept life on life's terms and my own feelings that I can go on even if I don't even know why ! And I'll never know why. In other words I'm not in control as much as one may think. I've surrendered to the world and to myself. My physical frailties , my mental state.

Most of the time I feel like I'm just existing because my body breathes and my heart beats . And now I just am grateful for those brief moments, or sometimes even periods of time , that I feel ALIVE ! Sorry for rambling. I just want to say that I ID with all your feelings and pain and know that someway, somehow, someday you will feel some happiness, maybe even some joy. And you will look back and be glad that you weathered the storm. The world will beat me up , that's for sure, but do I have to add to that and beat MYSELF up too ?