I remember back when I first started T and I didn't feel anything other than fear and the occasional sharp burst of anger that would fade almost as soon as it surfaced...
I still wish there was an instruction manual or something, but it's not something you can learn from a book (believe me, I tried...). It took time and patience and willingness to take risks and trust T through the ups and downs.
Not that I'm there yet, I still struggle and go blank a lot when T asks me about feelings. It gets frustrating, and you have to somehow sit with the frustration - something I absolutely hate to do, but that is absolutely necessary.
The thing is the fear though, you can't let the fear of what might happen to you (what if T abandons me? what if T really does want to hurt me?) - you just can't give in to that stuff, that's what'll kill your process. I've been through it, I know it's hard, but the only way to grow emotionally is to take risks and trust. Fear is the mind-killer.

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