Don't forget that pendulums are not the "center" of where the "truth" is. I think your unhappiness at your "narcissism" is just the opposite of your belief that you are so very important to your T. The Truth is different but I think you are definately on the right road! I liked where I got at the "end" and my relationship to my T (and to myself!) at that time.
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"Never give a sword to a man who can't dance." ~Confucius
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