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Mouse: I've survived by believing T adores me, that I am the most special person in her life, that she could spend all her life with me.

I'm reminded of a portion of my own experience wherein I really needed to believe that this one person cared deeply for me and loved me. I was in such a painful place at the time and suspect if I hadn't been able to cling to that belief -- that someone, somewhere, loved me at a time when I felt so very unlovable -- I never would have made it.

Fortunately, that individual did care about me sincerely, although probably not with the same intensity as those moments in my experience implied. I can see that now and sit comfortably with it, while also feeling grateful that I had that sense of being loved at that time. Letting go was a process however. I'm reminded of this passage...

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... the energy is gradually reclaimed, in the same way as a snail's stalks, or the leaves of some touch-sensitive plants tentatively re-emerge or unfold after they've been touched. Similarly, the soul's energy doesn't need to be yanked back, or forcefully torn away from its attachment. It needs gentleness and slow movement, not sudden jolting or other forms of hasty retrieval.

Through my own experiences of grief, loss and wounding, and though being privileged to share the painful experiences of others, I have learned that the soul lets go when in the kairos of its own time-frame it is ready to. It undergoes a gradual transition from acknowledging the soul-bond, to relinquishing dependency and belongingness, to acknowledging the reality of separation. The soul, like a child, must in such times be weaned off, because its vulnerability and woundedness so often belong to the Puer, the eternal child archetype of trust and openness that has more often than not drawn it into the situation in the first place. The hopeful and idealistic Puer, earthed and sometimes shocked through the harsh facts of human relatedness into the realm of Soul, thereby becomes, if it accepts its lot with growth in understanding and no bitterness, the willing victim of a sometimes painful reality.

Source: Embracing the Fragmented Self



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