Thank you for sharing your story, Ruari. I welcome any and all perspectives on this subject. In your case, I don't think you take any kind of pleasure from reeling these men in and getting their affection only to cast them out into the dark. Correct me on this if I am wrong, of course. We all have self-destructive behaviors that interfere with the things we want most in life. Sometimes we put up walls as a defense mechanism that stems from some kind of traumatic experience in our past. It's hard to fight these things but they can be beaten. The way I see my ex is in more of a sense that she is just a manipulative, hurtful person. It's why she cheated on me, lied to me multiple times and even that wasn't enough as she entered my life again to cause more damage if she could. My advice would to take a deep look into why you push these men away when you have an interest in them. Fear of commitment? Insecurities? I'd love to hear more from you on this.

(and I'm from Nashville, TN)