Ok, So, I found a copy of the Feelings Wheel:
http://www.ytporegon.org/sites/defau...eel%202011.pdf

This is what I made my own flash cards from. I just got some blank white index cards and wrote them out. As you can see by the wheel a lot of emotions are just degrees of other emotions. At the center is the basic emotions and as it fans out they are connected by association. You can also see that on the opposite side of an emotion is it's opposite. Basically, how my T taught me was that nearly all emotions we have are a result of our human needs being met or not met. The wheel shows that by the division of opposing emotions. When our needs are met we have good emotions, when they are not met we have “negative” emotions. If we can figure out what the needs are and get them met we feel better. The super tricky part is trying to figure out what the need is.

Here is a link to the needs wheel:
http://www.ytporegon.org/sites/defau...eel%202011.pdf

Same structure. I made Flash cards of these too.

Sometimes we can't get a need met by ourselves, so we have to ask for help from another. This is where communication comes in. Letting others know how we feel, what our need is, and asking specifically for the thing you think would fill that need. This is also tricky, and hard sometimes. Remembering that other people are Not required to fill our needs, but asking if they are Willing to. “Are you willing to....” Doing this after describing how you feel and what your need is helps. Then the other person has that information to understand why you are making the request. Everyone has human needs. Requesting for help is ok, Demanding is taking away the other persons need of respect and choice.

People with a history of trauma, like myself, this get even trickier. At some point we had a need that was very much not met and we tried to meet it in unhealthy ways. These was were important at the time because they helped us get through and survive, but we keep doing them until we learn a better way. Our emotions also get trapped in our bodies. When my T pokes at some topic sometimes I have outrageous reactions that make no sense for the moment. I don't have a need at the moment but my body remembers things and I shake, get hot, get angry, want to cry, or run away, etc. Allowing myself to experience these things in the safety of my T's company lets them get out of me. Like releasing a wind up toy that spins across the floor until it runs out of steam. To keep my self safe I was holding it in, once I release it I feel better and free. It's not always fun though. Often quite a painful process. That's where courage comes in. And a good T.