So, I'm coming to the realization that my depression is a lot tougher than I thought. I've become better at fighting back over the last month, but now it is fighting back as well.

The thought of going to a real therapist fills me with paralyzing fear, embarassment, and stress and I'm not sure why. After opening up to my boyfriend about it, he has been as supportive as he can and has tried to understand as well as person without depression could, and it makes me very grateful for him. However, I've been feeling badly about taking out all of my frustrations and negativeness on him and turning on him when he isn't doing anything wrong, but not exactly right either. So then I feel guilty about shoving this all in his face with no warning and it makes me feel even worse.

I decided that no matter what, I'm gonna finally try to seek professional help. This isn't something I can solve on my own anymore, and it's not fair to my loved ones for having to deal with me when I am depressed but am too afraid to tell them what is really going on.

If you have any tips for me on where to start looking or anything, I would appreciate it with my whole heart. Seeing so many of you who have a therapist has been a huge inspiration to me to find my own professional help.