i am drinking...
but i made a song...
i cant speak with words... i never can speak with words...
besides i can speak to myself in words, in ways that are inconceivable...
but i cant communicate... but i want to reach out.... i want help so badly...
i need help... i need to learn things.... i need to see acceptance... but notjust that... because anyone can accept you... but then they can throw you into the burn pile...
i cant come out often... i cant allow this much... i am desperate.... please intervene...

but maybe can maybe someone say if these sounds can explain anything...

i hide so many things.... from people... i hide so many things from myself....
my mind is... i dont know how to describe what is my mind....
it has created itself to protect me... but it is causing me damage...
my mind will kill me... if i dont stop it....

are there any services that i can contact.... to explain my case.... to let them know that i have this problem... my doctors have said things about me that are not true.... my doctors have diagnosed me with things that are not propper... they have claimed non compliance when i tried so hard... they got mad because i questioned their methods... and just wanted other options... why can they mark my medical records because of that... i have never been rude to anyone in my life... i have never said anything to anyone in my life... but i tried to tell the doctor 2 times that i am scared... i am not bipolar... these medicines are not heling... i am not bipolar... please listen to me...

i need a representitive that can explain that i cant speak for myself... my mind wont let me say these things.... you cant reliy on my mind to get these things done.... my mind is just going to have me end up dead.... and i dont want to die... i just want to be happy... i deserve happiness too...
i just cant do these things.... and these other people take control and the lawyers and doctors talk to them and i dont think i can get help like this....

if pyou are interseting in hearing my song i will share it with you...