im not a singer yet... part of me can do it... but i cant bring it out... one day maybe it can complete the songs... one part can write the words...
right now all i can do is let my mind make these sounds to do these songs...
i am clearly no beethoven... but pushing buttons... making things click... provides a relief...

this is what i feel like...


i just cant beliveve the judge denied me.... why did i have to space out..
i dunno what i said.... why do these doctors not go deep enough... why cant they see that i am burried beneath years of concrete... why is it so hard to see that..? when someone is telling you that " hey, i feel like my arm is on fire and my heart has a knife in it, my head hurts and i cry all the time" but you are smiling, they dont want to look further

edit:
i dont actually smile... i have no clue what i do... i never remember talking to the doctors... ****ing hate this ****....