i feel like the only way they are going to see is when i try to kill myself...
if it doesnt work to well... then it would be too late... but they do that to too many people every day...

apparently im not serious enough.... i laugh to many things off in front of everyone...
but do they know that its not me... im not laughing... im trying to say i am dieing...
this thing in my mind is keeping me from telling you how sick i am...
but no one will no... till i am lying there... unresponsive...

why wont my mind realize this... why wont they help me tell them... why is it that all they want to do is run from people... why hide everything... why is it that i cant show my emotions... why create emotions thate people want to seee...
what is this... i have been realizing things for some months...
but im realizing now... that it doesnt matter how hard i try... they wont let me do anything.... they wont let me cry out whily bleeding from arms and legs begging for help....