Oh, it just "started" in childhood, My 1st wife continued it and finally left (marrying my best friend) after I had no more friends for her do "do". By then the real damage was done.

As for my mom (only family I have left) her stock answer is to "suck it up" ;-(

Really, my big issue right now is the two things seem so mutually exclusive and I cannot figure out how to reconcile them