well i'll be arriving at t about 3 hours from now. i think i'm ready for whatever she's going to say. if she's mad at me for the way i've been acting, that's on her. realistically i don't think she will be but i think it's all tied up in the transference stuff which is also further complicated by the "i'll never be good enough for my mother" complex. Sometimes I think it might be easier to NOT be able to name what is going on with me. Since there seems to be precious little I can do about it. Other than go in and be completely vulnerable talking about it with t.