Hi, I have been diagnosed with Atypical Depression. For those who are unsure of this it is a melancholy which is accompanied by extreme 'performance anxiety' - especially when it comes to work and social situations. Those with Atypical Depression report a heaviness in their limbs - I liken it to lead weights in my hands pulling me down. Atypical Depression is aslo accompanied by a drastic weight gain in a short period of time - about %5 of body weight per month. It hits mostly women in their 40s, mostly those diagnosed with BP1. It is devastating.

My depression is cyclical - often triggered by sudden changes in the weather and the seasons. Twice I have been hospitalized and twice it was necessary to be treated with ECT to put me on the road to recovery. I feel worthless but also deeply afraid. I am overwhelmed with thoughts of failure - particularly when it comes to work, volunteering, or other situations where I have made a committment and thus have an expected performance to uphold.

I have been thus far stable this last year. CBT has been a big part of that.