Yes Bill your suggestion regarding counseling is quite valid. I did go for the original confusion and hurt and if my using this forum to get the reasons for my anger out of my head and put it in front of me so that I can deal with the anger than I will definitely do just that. I believe the healing from all of this is a process and I am willing to go through the process. I just want to take the right steps and not just rely on my own perceptions. Hugs !!!