Thread: Perfectionism
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Old Apr 23, 2016, 12:35 PM
Icare dixit's Avatar
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Magnate
 
Member Since: Feb 2016
Location: A version of earth
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All or nothing is something I recognise, relate to. Both the "black-and-white thinking" which is considered more a personality thing, though science and reason helps me to counteract that, and the dissociation between "perfect" mania and "useless"/"inferior" depression. I also feel a vacuum that developed between mania and depression. I have to fill it. I've luckily become better at it, instead of broadening/growing the vacuum.

It is an essential aspect of the more personality/deliberate part of BP, I think. The seeming inability to change it much may create strong emotional reactions: you "should" not do this, there is no apparent reason for it.

I hope you find a way to walk that middle ground.
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Mania kills cells. Brain cells die. Memories become more reduced conceptually, making more efficient use of limited means. Memories shape our reality. Our memories are more or less split in two by abstractions, conceptual reductions. Mood states with memories, concepts, attached. Memories of pain and those of joy. It causes instability, changeability. Fearing that will leave an emptiness between pain and joy and a greater divide.
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