I really relate to the feelings you have with your mom. Right now I am struggling with having to help mine. She is 86 yrs. old and requires help from us daughters for her daily needs. My sisters are much older than I am (10yrs) and did not experience the neglect of my mom.

I was 10 when my brother died and it was at this point that I lost my mom as well. She couldn't care for me anymore and I was basically raised from there on by my oldest sister. On one hand, I could imagine the pain and grief she was going through and I don't know how I would be if I lost one of my children, but on the other hand---I would want to be there for my kids through this-not disappear on them. I have alot of resentment towards my mom. And she is very needy now. I also had sexual abuse that she turned her head on.

So now, having to help her live and doing her basic needs are really hard for me. My sisters don't understand me. They think I need to get over it. They did not live the same childhood that I did.

I feel so guilty for not wanting to help her but there is so much involved in it.
I need to forgive I guess. But how does one do that? I am in therapy but it's not helping with the forgiveness.

My mom's need are great right now and she needs us to help her live.
It''s a really tricky scenario.

Thanks for bringing up this conversation. I've never put this into words before. Maybe this can help me. This is my first time being in an "abuse" forum and it is just now (52) years old that I am even acknowleding that I was abused. i've been working with a therapist for the past 1 1/2 yrs on this.
Regardless of my feelings, I still need to tend to her each day-which is hard.
I so badly want to feel good about helping her yet can't seem to find it in my heart.