Ok. so its only been minutes since i last posted. but i was thinking about my si. I've been planning all day to go to the store and buy some blades. IM soooooooo frustrated with myself b/c i know that decision means im not trusting God. And so i asked myself if I even want to consider not doing it and trying something new. and i feel like everything inside says no. Im so frustrated with the act, but even more on the utter failure that I am spiritually.