Quote:
Originally Posted by MusicLover82
...I feel like it kind of keeps my bipolar under control a little bit (or at least my behaviors, because I am terrified that people will think I'm crazy, so I keep everything under wraps mostly).
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Yes. It is very stressful. Even with people-pleasing, I don't think in terms of "needing" people to like me. Sure, I'd prefer if they would, but don't need or even expect it to be possible. But that doesn't keep me from reflexively bending over backwards to help or be a doormat. But what you say is a true effect. Even
not caring if they like me, I don't want them to think I'm "crazy", but even more to the point, to "put them out" by needing anything.
Quote:
Originally Posted by bbTofu
That's a new part in my therapy ~ having hard time expressing my desires and frustrations and expectations from others. This is so hard. fear of rejection as well.
Also .. Fear that the other part will fall apart upon my anger/frustration
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Exactly.
This is the big people-pleasing fallout for me. For a long time, I didn't even recognize it as such because I don't do things like say things "just to be nice", or even thinking everyone can like me. They won't. But this "invisibility" thing is dead-on. Don't rock the boat. Don't need anything. Don't give 'em a reason. Just don't.
And I'm not sure, but since we are on a roll... Do you mean in the fear of no man's land of happy medium? How to go from
not expressing to expressing without
over-expressing? (In my experience, aka " flipping out".)
Wow, writing that out and connecting the dots was practically a therapy session. How much do you charge?
