i have been trying... to help myself... i have tried everything i can...
but my attitude has compromised everything...

repeatedly they state that my mood and affect are normal during the meetings and that things seem to not add up...

i am very confused a lot of the time... when you feel so deep pain... and you have hide things your whole life...

i need someone to fix my medical record.... i am nearing the end...
i have tried to be strong for so long... but its over... it was a mirage anyway....
just thought itf i behaved like i was strong... i could be ok... well... im just going to let this demon show itself to the world... if i dont die first.... then there will be more inconsistencies for them to put in my medical record... i give up...

take care everyone...