{{{{{{{{{{Butterfly}}}}}}}}}}}} I'm so sorry for your pain.

It's been my experience that our children cannot offer support to us because they feel as if they are being put in the middle, to choose between their mother and their dad.

I have a friend now that was abused by her husband for many years. She did the best she could for the eight children she had but she can't go to them for support for much of anything. They always seem to blame HER.

Coming here for support is a good idea although it can have it's drawbacks. You don't get someone "with skin on" or no one is available right away, but if you have patience, you'll get the help you need.

Like Sky said, it's not happening now. It's in the past. You are safe at this moment. Concentrate on that.