I only read the first post so I apologise if there have been any further developments or posts that state similar to what I say:

Masks I get. When ever I meet people I don't know, instinctively my walls go up and I exhibit a mascaraed of someone who is stronger than I feel inside. Years of practice I guess and to do with this inner subconscious defense mechanism that were I to be my true self, people would mock me/walk away/be disappointed etc.

When I was encoraged to apply for PIP (Personal independence payment) in my country, my Psychiatric nurse and another adviser told me to fill out the form and answer questions in assessment as if it was a bad day. At first I thought 'what the hell? every day is a bad day!' but then I realized that their statement was a simplistic breakdown of how to approach applying for payments like this.

I guess this opened my eyes somewhat. Instinctively I 'want' to seem okay when I talk to people I don't know or feel uncomfortable around... however... I know how I feel when I am on my own... when I spend hours in my house just staring at a wall.

If you are able.. I would suggest appealing the decision if you can.