Quote:
Originally Posted by Patagonia
Have you looked into tantric sex? Not all sex is about penetration & it sounds like you're not ready for that part of it if you're not enjoying it.
IMO you're going to have to work w/your partner so you're on the same page AFA what to do & how far to go. Your partner needs to understand what's going on in your head so this person can make decisions on your reactions.
Yes changing how you view sex can work. I dealt w/ a lot of csa in my past & just started to leave it alone. Leave it in the past Bec it was affecting me now. I look at sex very differently, feel & understand it very differently. The past can come back & ruin things & ive made changes to move on.
Start slow & educate yourself. Is your pain from something physical? Then maybe start there & see an OB about what's going on. Maybe it's the position or other changes you can make to help you relax.
It can work.
I wish you the best!
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When did I say anything about a partner? I said I have been intimate with someone that doesn't always equate to a partner besides not even in a relationship at all. This is person doesn't understand my trauma was explaining to the person what happened talking about it is never easy.
I have been interested in tantric sex know someone who does tantra however I was told there's a tantra meeting through meetup I should check it out. I started looking up sex positive stuff need to find more information I was told about tantra it's about loving yourself. What the hell is the gyno gonna do for me? All they tell me is to "deep breathe" that only goes so far and every pap test has been difficult for me. They told me seek therapy for the trauma or a sex educator (that is even more money by the hour) and my home situation is very toxic doesn't help me one bit.
I don't like sex without penetration, I know tantra isn't always about penetration. Condoms don't have a great feeling I feel the condom than I do the penis. I think I was also told to drink wine before having sex to help me relax haven't done that yet.
My pain something physical? men shoving their dicks in me causing so much pain that was the source of the pain and mentally the rest being told I am a slut/hoe/*****/***** by my mom which added to the shame and guilt. Done different positions the pain is still there.
So yea, like I said just tired of the sexual control. I am not even sure who are well known sex positive influences out there.