I don't think that's the case for everyone. It would be very twisted of you to display the kinds of behavior that I mentioned in my original post as some kind of test to see who will stick around the longest. That's like throwing someone in a fire pit and seeing who stays in the longest. It's evil in intent as you're essentially playing mind games with these people while they're just doing their best to stay in the game. I don't believe for one bit that my ex cheated on me because she was "deeply insecure". There's no excuse to take advantage of someone like that. The reason I see the difference in Ruari's story is because she actually takes zero pleasure from pushing those men away. It hurts her just as much as it does them if not more as she is searching for ways to stop those behaviors. It's not somewhat manipulative, it IS manipulative. You have an agenda that ends in hurt for the other person involved. Sure, it's all circumstantial but there's no denying some people just thrive off of attention and hurting other people. That's why I call them a "virus". They only care about themselves and will suck you dry until you have nothing left to give.

Not everyone is a victim.