The intent in Ruari's case is fairly obvious. She has certain insecurities that prohibit her from getting close to men so in the end she ends up pushing them away. When I read that I can see how it goes deeper than evil intent. Now intentionally using destructive and harmful ways of vetting a romantic interest is just wrong. There are ways of vetting people before letting them into your life and that's not it. No insecurity drives someone to cheat, it's a decision someone makes based on their own morality. I don't care how deep of an insecurity I have I'd never put someone else through intentional hell to know if they'll be there or not down the line. My ex and people like her are just hurtful people. I'm sure you'd agree with that?