The good news is that we don't get to decide who other people "endure".

Example, my BF. He's got problems (don't worry, it's no secret, he knows it too ). And honestly? Even with my having BP, it's probably fair to say that overall, I'm the more stable one(!) Let THAT sink in, lol! Is that a challenge for me? You better believe it! He is not easy to live with. BUT. That doesn't matter. I love him despite his problems. Even if he couldn't think of a single reason I should, I do! My feelings for him are not dependent on his understanding them.

And so it is for you. Don't beat yourself up over it. He's there. Don't question it -- relax and simply appreciate it. This is easier said than done, but it's important. The other sets up a pattern of self-fulfilling prophecy.

I don't know for sure, but suspect that DBT might be helpful for you in this. (Can anyone more familiar with DBT speak to this?)

Be gentle with yourself, ok?