I recently in the last 6 months moved over 2 hours away back to my home town. When i moved back I requested a new pdoc and wanted to be seen fairly quickly as I didnt have enough meds to carry me through for a long period of time. So I took the first available pdoc. Who happened to be a resident. Great pdoc though. Just he is leaving his residency soon.

I have decided to switch back to the pdoc i was seeing before I moved 2 hours away from my hometown. I was seeing her for about 2 years. She remembers me I frequently see her in the waiting room waiting to see my other pdoc.

I am seriously second guessing myself in seeing her. Even though she was the original one to diagnose me with bipolar 2 disorder. This most recent admission they classified it as Bipolar 1 disorder not to sure which it is frankly do not care. My ultimate goals are to feel bettet and stay out of the hospital as much as possible.

I see her in 8 days. I am dreading it. I am dreading the questions they ask you all over again especially when your new. I hate the scrutiny. I hate the sympathy. I hate the looks. I just hate the hole process.

I am considering asking if its possible to go on a shot form of medication because my stupid but often forgets to take my meds and it becomes a bad habbit of not taking them for a few days taking them not taking them. Feeling like crap or not sleeping depending on which way my mood decides to fluctuate. I cant handle it i need more stability and i cant seem to do that for myself.

Reminds me i need to take my meds. Ugh.

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