The only thing I could do without is absolutely uncontrollable, changing sleeping patterns. Being either mentally tired, wired or physically tired. It's just something you can't get better at.

Give me steady mania or depression, I can adapt to that, know what to do and not to do, not these small changes. I just feel like I am torn by the changing sunrise and sunset, trembling by the fast changes, anxious, nauseous, mentally slow, physically energised.