I realized everything I feel about you is how so many other people feel about you. We all need you for the same reason. A consistent, patient, and available therapist. That's it a therapist. I'd tell you this but it's soemthing you would glance over and not respond to. I wish it was different. I wish I was the only one who needed you this way. I'm not. What sucks is I'm sure everyone else that sees you wishes the same thing. I'm just another person the same as everyone else. We're not different. People. We're all the same. All of us. The same. Crave to be different, which is the same in itself. We struggle to be different to be seen but that only causes us to all be the same. I wish I was different to you. I wish I wasn't stuck in this therapy loop. I wish I could be comfortable with myself. I wish I knew who myself was. I wish I could not care about the others that need you and lump myself with them. I want to stand out but I want to be hidden at the same time. I'm so confused and lost in everything. Am I really special to you? Why do I need to be? Why do I need to be seen differently by you than you see your other clients? Why? Why did you create this connection? Why? It's painful and confusing and God this is so ****ed up.

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