Maybe DocJohn needs to give us a link to his dictionary, so we can all check the words? I mean that, really. To me, the common definitons of both argument and debate involve "contention."

I often have to rethink what someone has said, and base that review on how the person normally posts, maybe even add some of their general attitude picked up in chat, to come to a better idea of what they currently mean in a post.

But I find that even asking someone to clarify can be taken the wrong way.

IMO it all boils down to what perspective the reader is coming from at the time, as to how they will take any particular post. That, imo, is their responsibility to make sure it's the best they can do when they respond.