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I have been dating a great guy who is my a wonderful friend. Everything is amazing between us and I think we are pretty even in terms of how much we are into each other, which is a lot. We have talked about moving in together etc. but both of us are happy taking things steady. We both own our own homes and like having that base and stability for the time being.
However, just recently it feels like is weighing up his options and thinking he may not stick with this afterall. His actions don't show this but he has made a joke about splitting with me because he doesn't know if he can cope with my children and I think he means dealing with all the usual drama and inconvenience 2 kids bring. He is always really good with them and they really like him but this recent comment blindsided me and it has really upset me to the point I can't even talk to him about it just yet. He often 'jokes' about me dumping him over daft things but rarely has he said it the other way and this wasn't something meaningless, this was something major.
We are normally really open with each other about stuff but this subject is just too emotional for me. I love my kids, I love him. I get the feeling he is just being really honest about the fact that he finds this very hard (he doesn't have children himself) and that is thinking he may not want to be with me going foward. I just wish he would tell me though and not keep spending time here with me and my children whilst he is all the time thinking that he may not stay.
I must re-iterate, this guy is a real gem and a truly lovely person. I know he loves me but think he is torn. I need to have a conversation with him about this I realise, but I don't want it to seem like I am asking him to make some formal commitment or go.
Part of me thinks maybe I should relax about the future and not think long term, mentally phase him out, but that goes against everything we have talked about and I will start to plan him out of my life and will inadvertently say stuff which indicates I am planning my future without him. This is the man who just last week was going to grow old with me and now I just feel like I don't know anything anymore.
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