I was in a really similar situation with my ex and we did get back together many times and many times we split. He treated me very poorly and over the years my confidence and self esteem were wrecked.

I suffered depression and didn't think I would get over him and would live through this torture of being with him but one day he just pushed me too far and I ended things for good. I never looked back and I have regretted many times over that I didn't do it sooner.

I would honestly do you best to get out there and come into contact with other people. You may find a much nicer guy than him who will treat you like a princess.