I am in the middle of a very bad manic episode. I attempted suicide about a month ago but did not go to the hospital. Instead I fessed up to my psychologist and subsequently got diagnosed with bipolar I. I live in Sweden, and we have a socialized healthcare system. She has sent a referral to the psychiatrist and I am currently waiting to find out when I will get my appointment to discuss treatment and meds. It could take a few weeks or it could take up to three months, there is no way of knowing.

My mania is manifesting as incredibly severe anxiety, horrific mood swings, insomnia and my brain just never stops. I can't keep up with it. I can't sit or be still and I feel scared and trapped. I have sleeping pills and benzodiazepines to try to help calm me down and sleep, but they don't work at all. I've been considering it I should go to the psyche ER because many days I feel like I can't handle it and I'm going completely insane, other days it is a bit better, but not by much. The waiting is adding on extra anxiety and my behavior is causing severe stress between myself and my husband.

I'm not sure what the right thing is to do. The ER here might just stabalize me for the moment and send me home or they might try to get me started on meds and keep me there for a while. There is no way to know, my husband (who has much experience with the Swedish medical system) believes the former is more likely. I see my psychologist once a week but not knowing when I might get to see the psychiatrist to get this under control is making my symptoms worse. Unfortunately because of the way our system works there is nothing my psychologist can do to speed things up.

I don't know what to do.