Hi lovemeformexo,

"I'm pretty sure he doesn't want me anymore. He has a lot of pride."??!!!
FACT: With his behavior (!!) he doesn't DESERVE you!!!!

But...........I can understand that it might feel really hard for you, for lots of reasons
Maybe the way he treated you, led you to feel real deep inside that it was your fault or that you weren't worthy, and that's lingering somewhere in you..........but it was never your fault, abuse is the abusers fault, no-one else's............
Maybe you're wanting the "what could have been" without the abuse...........but
"what could have been" wasn't the reality, the reality is he was abusive............
Maybe you feel guilt for cheating on him/sorry for him/blame yourself for the ending.........but while cheating isn't "good"..........a bit of balance (??!!)..........compare it with the way he treated you over all that time...........the way he made you feel to lead you to that............
Maybe you're wanting the "comfort" of someone, and he's "familiar", starting over with someone else or falling in love again might feel impossible or scary..............but for now you're FAR better on your own than with someone like him............
And maybe, just maybe, because of your love for your daughter, there may for a long time be a bit of an emotional attachment............but that can be separated from "love", from actually wanting him if you can resolve those feelings...........

But now it's time to focus on yourself and what's best for you..........you deserve that, you've been through enough!!
So........now focus on people who may make you feel good, feel valued, feel worthy, feel like you really matter........you never deserved the pain he brought you and you don't deserve it now...........
Time to start living the life you deserve, doing what makes you feel good with people who make you feel "better"
Might take some time, might be real hard, might need to be done in steps.............but it is possible

Alison