Sometimes I believe that little things get said out of fear. Just reading your post brought something to the surface, for my own sense of peace about the topic.

I'd imagine, those pregnancy days with your children's father were filled with both excitement and fear? Will I be a good parent type of thinking. Along with joking asides during more stressful moments.

Except, there's a sense of fear in blending into a family especially when it hasn't been a daily norm. Will I be good enough? Will I create a rift? Will I do wrong by their mom and find myself so far out that door??

Maybe just continue taking things day by day?