I am feeling beyond hopeless today. Can’t stop crying. I got a new job about 3 months ago, after being out of work for 4-5 months. I used to be an attorney, but I couldn’t do the work anymore after my mental state deteriorated more than it had previously.

The new job I have now is as a case manager for a non-profit. I am unable to do the work, and I live in fear of losing my job. My spouse and I depend upon this income to make our financial life work. I must have this job.

I do so much better in my life when I am not working. When I last was not working, I was rather sick, physically, and yet my mental health was the best it has ever been. No thoughts of suicide or anything even remotely near this paralyzing depression.

I feel pressured to find a job that I am able to do, but the thought of looking for a job on the weekends makes me feel even more depressed. I just don’t have energy. I feel like giving up on everything.

I know I am sounding like a major whiner, and I suppose that is what I am. I physically and mentally hurt. I feel like the pain is going to do me in. I wonder sometimes if that is what is getting in the way of my job performance at my current job. I am so very depressed. I have a therapist and am on medication. My therapist thinks I should work 30 hrs a week or less. I feel immobilized by pain.