I have been severly depressed for as long as I can remember, but, the last few years have been the most intolerable of my life. Without my good friends on Psych Central I really dont know how I made it this far. During the real lows I have tried to commit suicide twice and dont want ever to be back in that bleakest of bleak places. We all have been there, but try to claw our way back to the surface in the hope that the sun will shine on our faces once again. I have been in hospital for the last two week's with pneumonia and plural effusion only to be told that I have ovarian cancer!! I dont know how to get through this.. I will have an operation in the next week to remove the tumor and then I will know more about the after care treatment. I cant help to think that this is a sick joke that someone is playing on me. Why did I survive suicide only to be told I have another battle to prepare for.. I am worried about my physical and mental state, but more than that my kids, my husband and all those silly little things like paying bills. I am sorry for the rant. I am feeling sorry for myself at the moment... I just had to let it out there..