OMG. I relate so much to wanting to be T's favourite and feeling jealous and sad that I'm not and that she limits so strictly what she is willing to give me. This is in ZERO way mitigated by the smart/logical part of me that wants a T with excellent boundaries and appropriate professionalism. The feeling of being a big sinkhole of need is probably the hardest issue for me to address with her and I have to limit how deeply and how often I get into it with her because I cannot afford to walk around feeling so undone by those sessions.