wow. you are brave for talking to him about this stuff. i tell my therapist little teeny tiny bits by way of email. often ambiguously concealed in poetry. not really ftf though. you are brave.

i'm working up to telling my therapist... that i feel very small and alone when he needs to miss a session. that of course i KNOW that it is understandable. and of course i KNOW that it is perfectly reasonable that he does that. but little kid feelings and i feel small. and sad. and hurt. and embarrassed, of course.

shh. don't tell anyone... but i imagine my t holding me sometimes. in bed. but in a non-sexual way. just kinda holding me safely. mr. man used to do that. the first night he ever held me he wrapped duvet around me and held me so it was non-sexual and safe and really very nice. and then of course feelings get a little confused sometimes... but safety, yeah. i think that t should be there to tuck us in and read to us everynight :-( i do. of course i understand why it cannot be... but that doesn't help anything. not really.