Thanks for caring? Of course I care. You see, I have been reading the posts here for months, I have gotten to know a little bit about you along the way. I decided I liked you. I think you are nice. Your struggling, your in pain, your husband is an idiot and I would like to be your friend.
It's tough though. You have a deadline. I don't know when it is. I can put my heart into a friendship and I can take my time to try to help you thru the very difficult time but you have a deadline. One day you'll be gone and I will know what happened and it will break my heart as well as all the other friends you have made on these boards.
I will know that your son is without his mother. My god he's is probably going to be raised by an [censored] father or he'll get juggled around thru the system and his life will end up not much different than yours. There's nothing I can do about that. You have a deadline.
I know I sound harsh, I feel that way. You posted your thoughts and want support and friends. I cannot support you killing yourself and abandoning your son. However, if you want to keep fighting, I will be there to help you and if I can't someone else here will.
You are the one that chooses here but you have to know your choice will affect so many people.
You do have options to get help in an abusive relationship. You can go to a crisis center. If you have no friends and family to help you then get out your phone book, look in the front and find somewhere to get help.
I am sorry but I can't stand by and watch you count down the days till you kill yourself.
Fight to get out of that relationship. I truly believe that is what is keeping you down. It's one thing to deal with a past of pain but when you have to be subjected to verbal abuse every day you don't have a chance. Get away from him and give your son and yourself a chance.
I don't think I could concider myself a friend if I just tipptoed around you and waited for you to die. This is serious.
I send to you a very big, long, warm hug. I have made you a cup of hot chocolate and some of your favorite cookies to snack on. I got you a blanket and we are gonna sit now and watch a chick flick. Miss Congeniality is my favorite so I hope you like it.
Heidu