Thread: Shame..
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Old Apr 25, 2016, 01:14 PM
PinkFlamingo99's Avatar
PinkFlamingo99 PinkFlamingo99 is offline
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Member Since: Apr 2015
Location: Canada
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BudFox View Post
If one accepts the idea that shame can only be healed relationally, the question for me is whether a therapy relationship is a rational way to achieve this. Seems that only an authentic and mutual and spontaneous relationship can lead to real healing, and can such a thing be purchased?

I kinda thought I had a therapy relationship that held some potential for this, but it ended up compounding the shame, precisely because it was not authentic and not solid. It was a business relationship that could be terminated at any time for all sorts of reasons.
Is the therapeutic relationship somehow supposed to do this relationally? That kind of makes my head spin. (And my ex-T thought me going to church was magical thinking... Haha).

I think the only way therapy would help me with shame would be give me somebody to tell about things that happened who won't tell people I know, and to get someone else's opinion on whether it was my fault, etc. Just hearing it wasn't my fault does help. it's easier to tell someone you feel safe with, but I don't think that's only a therapist or therapeutic relationship.
Thanks for this!
Ididitmyway